This little thing called anxiety

So today I was able to submit my information for FMLA through my work. No big deal. Did a little happy dance and sat back down. While I was so excited to finally have a date. 1/18/18 if you were wondering.. My anxiety has started to go into overdrive. You see me & surgeries we don’t have a happy past.

I have three daughters. Yep THREE! When my youngest daughter was born there were lets say some complications after the c-section. My daughter however was perfect. Thank God. I was not okay however. They sent me home from the hospital I knew something was wrong told the dr and nurse something was wrong and they still discharged me. I came back a day later completely septic. My blood was being poisoned basically. I ended up having my first surgery the next day and after that I was in a coma for a week. I had 6 surgeries all together and was in the ICU for two months. So there is some real fear here associated with surgery. Not to mention after my gallbladder came out I also got an infection. Although not as bad.

I was actually diagnosed with PTSD from everything that happened to me in the hospital. So I have thought long and hard about this surgery. But with it edging closer up climbs my anxiety. Even bad dreams and flash backs to certain events that took place in the ICU during my stay. Having a hard time sleeping. Just need to get through this next month. I know I am making the best decision for myself and my family but this is hard..

My Journey So Far

So back in July I started looking into bariatric surgery. I had been thinking about it for years. But I finally decided it was time to take that leap. I went to my first appointment and that got the ball rolling. I had to go to many different doctors and have many tests. Some of them were cardiologist, sleep studies, and a few others. I am now getting towards then end of this process. My surgery is finally scheduled. Prior to surgery I will be on a strict 10 day liquid diet. I can’t wait for my new life to begin. I have a surgery date of 01/18/18 what a great way to start the year. I plan on updating this often as my journey continues.